Looloobees: Part Dictionary, Part Encyclopedia, Part Term Paper.

In my dream I am lying upon a couch; the Looloobee perched atop my bosom, our hearts beating in unison.  And in that dream when I peer down, I spy the top if its furry head and feel a contented bliss... 

loo·loo·bee  noun, verb, -bee-ing, adjective.  

-noun

1.  a clump of cuddly, fuzzy flesh and gums with giant eyeballs the better to see you with, my dear

2.  a tiny blobby thingie that relaxes into euphoria when showered with kissies

3.  a baby Benjamin Button  produced from the union of a Chewiebee* + a fBil**

* chewiebiee = chowie/chewie, midgette, my baby sister

**fBil = favorite brother-in-law (fBil pronounced 'fuh-bill')

***click photos to enlarge & more closely examine the Looloobee***

4.  a mesmerizing mumkin that delights one & all via facebook  (mumkin = pumpkin + munchkin)

5.  a savvy NYC hi-fashionista shoe hoarder

6.  something that wants to suck it's thumb but:  a) lives in fear of the Mittens Police and  b) sadly cannot get it together, during the small window of time the Mittens Police is at the office, to separate it's thumb from its fist and suck away in peace
7.  an organism with a perfectly round head whose complex hair situation provides for areas of sprouting fuzz, luxurious length in the form of a rat's tail & an enormous bald spot in back; minus the complimentary mustache provided its maternal ancestors (photos & more details included below)
8.  something that has never once had (organic) diaper rash because its doting servants rinse its be-hind with warm water & soap; each & every time

9.  the cutest thing I ever did see since i last saw a baby Chewiebee

-verb

1.  to fake cry for attention (as in 'don't looloobee me!' and 'stop looloobeeing! i'm totally on to you!')

2.  to suckle the life force from anything & everything while in search of Midgette Milk (as in 'I'm gonna looloobee that veggie burger!')  See exhibits a, b, c & d below.

3.  to act as though you’re intently looking at someone or something but to ‘secretly’ use your jedi rogue eyeball on the left to scan your surroundings for something more interesting (as in ‘don’t you looloobee me!  i can see that eyeball looking in the other direction.  i know you’re not paying attention to what I'm saying!’)

-adjective

 1.  describing something you find charmingly exquisite that has a beauty which appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye (as in ‘Have you considered applying to be a Hand Model?  Your dainty, gorgeous hands with long looloobee fingers are just like our very own Looloobee's hands.'  


OR 


'Look at that looloobee hairdo!  I always wondered what it would look like if I shaved my head on top and let it grow out in the back while simultaneously clearing a circle dead center.  That ‘do is truly looloobee!’) 

Sometimes a Looloobee's one eyelid gets stuck shut as it wakes up from a nap, and lots of times a Looloobee is busy hiccupping.  But more than anything, Looloobees are forever greedy for the rare delicacy of organic Midgette Milk; Midgette Milk so dense in nutrition that it feeds their fuzz (juicy thighs & belly pudge, too). 

As greedy as Looloobees are about filling their bellies with Midgette Milk, they are just as delusional regarding its availability.  See aforementioned Exhibits a, b, c & d below.  These exhibits depict our particular Looloobee attempting to extract Midgette Milk from various innocent objects:   

a)  a cold glass of ale

b)  its dad's faux teet

  

c)  its dad's aristocratic nose

 

d)  and the least promising of all:  Couch Milking

In Summation:

Looloobees have Mongolian Spots on their back & hiney plus one (jumbo) rogue eyeball, just like the Chewiebee had (independently thinking eyeballs pay no mind to their mate).  See diagrams X, Y & Z of the Chewiebee which illustrate the genetic source of Roaming Eyeball Syndrome. Any other similarities are not, i repeat not merely coincidence.

Diagram X

Diagram Y

Diagram Z

Another best Looloobee feature is its byzantine mop.  As you know, Looloobee tresses defy definition (even including both brown & blond hairs!).  Please allow us to express, on behalf of the Looloobee, homage to their Sister Species:  the Cha-Cha-Cha Chia Pet (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzY7qQFij_M).

Let it be known that Looloobees enjoy being tended to via warm oil & tumeric powder massage.  They love balmy water bathing with soothing candles & John Coltrane playing in the background while they regally, peacefully float away; giving an occasional splash with their lean & leggy limbs.

They also request that their pants be pulled up high.

Our Chewiebee produced our Looloobee on a cold winter day.  She arrived ready-equipped with enormous peepers, looking around – “where am i?”.  And she licked her lips with that funny little tongue, as if in anticipation of being indoctrinated into The Herd.  Various Herd members teared... then all circled & sniffed & sighed with a long overdue joy; their weariness replaced with enthusiastic ooooohs & aaaaahs  forevermore.

She is The Peoples’ Looloobee.  Too many have longed for & pondered the rapture this Luxurious Looloobee provides.  Now those same people cry out for more!  More Looloobees!  Looloobeees for all!   

A formal request has been presented to the Chewiebee & fBil for twin Looloobees in 2011.  However acknowlegment is yet to be received.


More Looloobees!  Let's have Twin Looloobees!!!!

Looloobee TWINS, please!!!

Her name is Foxxy....

  ...Foxxy Lim.

Who Is She? 
My friend's Miniature Husky puppy

What's Her Sign?
Gemini (June 8, 2009)

What's Going On With Her These Days? 
She's living the good life in San Francisco, CA. 

And this chick hasn't looked back once since leaving her parents in the Bakersfield, CA dust.

Sometimes I imagine both her parents staring out the window, ears down, tails limp and little minds wondering with sadness about where their Foxxy went.  And then my face lights up because I realize she's got adoptive parents who love her so much that they treat her as though she sprung from their very own loins! 

Not only is she adored in her SF home, but she's the 3rd member in a house of International Gourmets.  And her expertise has determined that dry organic kibble is lame (even with the extra pump of Omega 3 Fish Oil as a topping).  Rather, what she prefers are tidbits of fresh, primarily organic whole foods; including strawberries (fresh or frozen), celery, pecans, walnuts and the occaisonal baby carrot:

But please don't insult her with cucumbers.  She spits them out.

And the truth is, no matter how much her mom & dad may miss her, adoption was always in her best interest. See, when you have upwards of 40+ children, it's not humanly possible to lovingly hand-feed Foxxy persimmons, blueberries & half lemons the way her adoptive parents (& auntie!) do:

*New Tangent Alert*


Although this is not an area of concern, I'd like to point out that her mother suspects Foxxy may be a lesbian.  The top 3 hints are:

a)  Unsoiled pads, tampons, & panty liners are her preferred chew toy.  They are sneaked out of her mommy's purse regularly and devoured with delight.

b)   Bras & panties (washed or not) are her favorite laundry finds.

c)  And it's unanimous she'd be one of those annoying (sniffer) dogs if she weren't a permanently height challenged. 

With that said, her holiday gift from me, her doting aunty, is about to arrive:  The Play Chick Henrietta (squeaky) Dog Toy.  Partly to amuse myself as I watch her playing with it, and partly to let her know we support her no matter what her sexual orientation may be:  http://www.pet-dog-cat-supply-store.com/shop/index.php?page=shop-flypage-29278link. 

(An actual photo of Foxxy playing with Henrietta will be posted here soon.)

I want to point out that I've chosen this momentous month of December 2009 to introduce Foxxy to the world because:  her parents tell me she is about to become a woman.   

It seems like just yesterday she was a tiny, disoriented puppy who was separated from her birth parents and confused in her new home.  And now she is well-adjusted, sassy, and on the edge of puberty.  I often find myself daydreaming about taking her to Bakersfield to visit her birth parents for a reunion.  It's important to me that her birth mom see how contented and well-adjusted she is.

But then I remind myself of what happened to McKenzie Phillips and realize that, under no circumstance, can Foxxy be left alone with her father.  It would be all my fault if I got distracted for even a moment, because next thing you know:  Foxxy is on the couch with Oprah!

My mind starts to wander and I imagine her father being brought in midway through the interview as a surprise guest.  I picture him shameless + defiant, her mother howling with grief, and Foxxy and myself traumatized for life.  Let's not even think about what her adoptive parents would do to me!

So then I conclude it's also not a good idea to take her to Pleasanton, CA to visit her brother (another idea I've been entertaining).  I doubt this breed of creatures understand appropriate familial boundaries.  Like father, like son.  I'm sure of it.  And thus my hopes of being the Faciliatator of Family Reunions are extinguished. 

But enough of that.

I'd like to sign off by letting you know Foxxy's antics will be highlighted here periodically.  It's because she's cute and her eyes are expressive; with eyelashes that are stubby, yellow-white and grow downwards (reminding me of my grandma's bristle brush). Plus she's a Love Bug beyond measure.   Oh!  And she has accommodating ears that can be folded backwards, for our viewing pleasure, like this:

As a sidenote, sometimes she is inappropriate. For example, if I have my purse sitting on the floor, she'll come by and stick her nose in it. And I have to say, in my most loving alpha-like tone, "Excuse me, Madame. That is just. plain. rude. Do you mind?"  Luckily she's well-behaved enough that she always backs away. (It's best to be loving but firm in these situations)

So long for now, everyone!

Ritu

ps:  Names have been changed to protect her identity.

pps:  I have a Niecelette (blog code name: Figgy) being born any day now.  I'm sure there will be plenty of nonsensical posts about her in the near future.   

ppps:  My cousin, Richa, is another source of inspiration.  Expect to hear about her shortly, as she's an outrageous little monkey person with clear memories of life in the womb.

pppps: Then there are my other cousins and my dad and... The material is never ending, I tell you.

ppppps:  This is a reindeer ornament from the Christmas tree that Foxxy has stolen as her own.  (btw:  she's not supposed to go near the Christmas tree)

Comments from the Internet Peanut Gallery

OMG.  My new favorite thing to do is find an e-article or youtube video that interests me, and then..... to read the posted comments by anyone and everyone.

I highly recommend this practice since it's more enjoyable than you'd imagine.  Here is an example:

Last week the Huffington Post had an article about why Sarah Palin left the University of Hawaii after only one semester (& went to school in Idaho).  She says it's because Hawaii was too sunny and not conducive to an 18 year old from Alaska getting serious and hitting the books.

However, her dad told reporters the real reason!  Brace yourself.  Ready?  He said she left Hawaii because there were too many Asians!  And they made her uncomfortable!  And it wasn't glamorous like she'd thought it would be.  hahahahahaha 

Well, as if this wasn't entertaining enough, I proceeded to read the random comments from people and here are my Top 5 Favorites:

1.  'Is it because Asians do well in school?  Or because they are not mentioned in the Bible?  I hear that cats scare the daylights out of her.'

2.  'Makes sense.  I do not think there is a minority to be found in Idaho.  Not unless you count the gay Senator.' (that's in reference to Larry Craig and his arrest after the MN airport bathroom stall incident)

3.  'C'mon folks.  Give her a break.  She was young, from a small town.  Perhaps she thought it was a semester abroad program.  After all, it was out of the country, wasn't it?'

4.  'She probably thought that if she entered a beauty contest there is no way she could have won there.'

and my absolute favorite:

5.  'Her dad is an idiot for letting that slip.  Just goes to show you the berry doesn't fall far from the dingle.'

Here is the article, in case you want to read it:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/06/palins-father-she-left-ha_n_381724.html

Moral of this entry:  Be sure to scan those often overlooked posted responses, folks.   A belly laugh a day is good for your health.

Coming Soon: A write-up on someone named 'Foxxy Lim'.  And there's plenty to say about her.  Trust me.

So long for now,

Ritu

Inspiration...

I shall list out things that inspire me to write!

My dad is a huge source of brilliance for me; he's like a star begging me to put his interesting blurbs & hobbies to paper.  He has cracked me up for a while because he's so funny without realizing he's funny.  He's the one who told me to quit with all the 'Grandio Ideas' a few years ago and get a 9-5 job.  Mom, you have no idea what a goldmine that man is.  And he's all yours.  ALL YOURS, 24/7, especially now that you're retired.  'Honestly God'  

In addition to my dad amusing me, it's my sister, Neha, & my mom who tell me (almost every day) that they want me to write and capture the ridiculous thoughts that floweth from my cake hole (I got that killer term from my friend Rennie's husband).

So if dad is my inspiration, he's also one of a long line of muses.  Some others, off the top of my head, are listed below.  And they will be sources for individual blogs down the road, I'm sure. 

• Sarika (my baby sister & precious little Piglette-Pie)
• Actual piggies - especially the potbellied kind
• My soon to be born Niecelette that Sarika & her Bonus Baby Self + husband are bestowing upon the family
• Various cousins, like Vidhu & Nidhi (and their ecclectic life that's filled with wisdom & too many laughs)
• Helen the 84-year old blogger:  http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/
• Monkeys of all shapes & sizes (with partiality to Orangutans or the teensy ones featured on TLC's 'My Monkey Baby' who wear lipstick & party dresses) 
• Tiny people (both midgets & little kids) and, most especially (drum roll.....),
• Pretty much anything with a tail. 

I also have an Anti-Muse.  That's something that truly bothers me, kinda gets my goat and ultimately pushes me further along on my quest for inner peace.  What, you ask?  Well, it's people with the belief system of Caribou Barbie, Darth Vader Cheney and that Minority Whip from VA (who I like to call Baby Frankenstein because he scares the heck out of me each time I see him on the tv...and he kinda sorta looks like Frankenstein's younger brother). 

I'm quite passionate about exposing their antics on facebook and have taken to referring to them as babies, bullies, hypocrites and phonies.  Apparently they represent the 20% of citizens in our beautiful country who grate on my nerves & lack any and all self-awareness. 

Did you know they actually run around saying they love God and country more than the rest of us?  While they also announce how they love babies and the troops more than liberals do (?!).  Except they forget to tell you the part about how they only care about babies before they're born and troops while they're sending them to war.  Once they're out ?  Or back home?  Well that's another story.  See, I could go on and on.  But why waste all my material in one blog?

The point of talking about these delusionals right now is to let you know that they motivate me to think about what I value most.  So I guess I should really thank them since they also propel me to care about politics and vote... because Democracy begins with me! And you & you & you.  (So, thank you, Baby Frankenstein!)

Oh!!!  And of course, the times I am with you all inspires me...

I'll wait to read your comments... Even if it's just so I know I'm not writing this & then sending it out into nowhere land for not.

That'll be it for now. 

Peace Out,

R

Hey Mom, Neha & Chowie! I'm blogging!!!!

Look, mom! It's me! Here I am! Blog set up & ready to go...

Now you'll be privy to my random thoughts & 'musings' because.... This Blog Is For You!!!

As soon as something strikes me, I'll post it. And now we'll find out if you guys are really ready to experience every random thought that surfaces from my complex, OCD-ish, ginormously right-brained, left leaning self.

I have a lot to learn about formatting and making this pretty & fun & filled with visuals, but that will come in time.  For now, thanks for the encouragement!